Jesus and the Easter Bunny

Me: We need to get ready for our party on Sunday.

The Toddler: Party my house?

Me: Yes, we’re having a party at our house with our friends for Easter.

The Toddler: Yay! Jesus!

Me: (Thrilled that my toddler is making this connection between Jesus and Easter. Must be the deeply spiritual home he’s being raised in.) Yes! Easter is all about Jesus being alive!

The Toddler: Yes. Jesus. Alive. Church. CANDY! Easter bunny come my church bring CANDY!

Me: The Easter bunny is coming to church?

The Toddler: Yes. Bringing candy after lunch. Jesus comes too.

Allrighty then. Nothing like lunch with Jesus and the Easter Bunny. I can hardly wait.

wild animals

Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep posting about my silent retreat in the midst of the everyday chaos that is my life?

Don’t get me wrong, I want to keep posting about it. And I will. Tomorrow.

But this week my life feels a little bit like my blog when I was away -- overrun by wild animals who carry food into the living room and smear peanut butter on the couch and make entirely too much noise.

(By the way, I enjoyed coming home and finding that my blog had been blogjacked. It brought a smile to my face and I am grateful for this forum to foster such a fun and generous community. I feel like one of the cool kids now! And I’m glad this is a place where you feel comfortable enough to kick off your shoes and just hang out for awhile. And don’t worry about cleaning up next time. As Twin A. reminded me this morning, “our house is ALWAYS messy.” Thanks, buddy. I’m feelin’ the love.)

But back to the wild animals who live in my house.

After asking to play Star Wars Wii at least thirty-nine times yesterday, Llama Papa was annoyed.

“For the last time, no. No Star Wars Wii today.”
“But WHY?” Twin A. whined.
“Because you’re driving me crazy,” Llama Papa answered.
“I know,” Twin A. responded, “But what does that have to do with playing Wii?”

You’ve gotta love the logic of a Kindergardener.

flingshots and glitterbugs

In the spirit of the gloshers, let me tell you about our afternoon. On the way home from school, Twin B. announced that the glitterbugs have been busy. Twin A. agreed and decided we should pick up as much glitter as we could on our way home. I assumed this glitter was imaginary until I saw each of the boys with a handful of candy wrappers.

And I got a shipment of chairs from Target today. (Aren’t they cute?) The noisy boys had a blast with the packing supplies, which included jumbo-sized rubber bands. Perfect for making flingshots.

Don't forget to glosh

In honor of the three thousand tons of candy the noisy boys hauled in last night, here’s a recap of our recent trip to the dentist:

Me: Wow. You got a goody bag from the dentist?
Twin A: Yup. Look at all of this stuff! (Pulls out stickers, pencils, and a yo-yo)
Me: Cool. When I was a kid, we just got a new toothbrush.
Twin B: We got those too. And these! (Holding up his new toothbrush and flosser.)
Me: Look at those nice flossers!
Twin B: They’re not flossers, Mom, they’re GLOSHERS.
Me: No, they’re called FLOSSERS. They’re for flossing your teeth.
Twin B: No, Mom. The dentist said they’re GLOSHERS.
Twin A: Yeah. They ARE gloshers.

Whatever. No need to nit-pick on the details. As long as they’re actually gloshing their teach, I’m good with that.

Especially after last night. Holy cow. You’ve never seen such efficient trick-or-treaters! They literally RAN with their neighbor friends from house to house. I actually broke a sweat trying to keep up. Which is a good thing considering I must have eaten some thirty-eight small-sized snickers bars yesterday. My head is still buzzing.

boo

People ask me all the time: are the twins different? Oh my. Yes. Here’s a snippet of conversation from tonight to illustrate. (For anyone living on another planet who doesn’t know about “booing,” someone secretly leaves a bag of candy at the door along with a picture of a goblin with a cute Halloween poem instructing you to “boo” six friends within 24 hours. Because Lord knows we all need more candy in our homes.)

Twin B: I can’t believe we got booed!
Twin A: Yeah. I wonder who did it?
Twin B: It was the HALLOWEEN GOBLIN.
Twin A: No. It was one of our FRIENDS. Goblins aren’t real.
Twin B: Mom! Are goblins real?
Me: No. Goblins aren’t real. This is just a fun thing everyone does for the kids, but the goblin thing just comes from Target.
Twin B: (coming out of the bathroom) There’s a goblin in the toilet.
Me: There’s not a goblin in the toilet. Now, everyone get your clothes in the hamper and put on your pajamas.
Twin A: I can’t. There’s a goblin in there.
Twin B: (dancing) Three little witches riding on a broom…
Me: There are no witches and no goblins. Put your clothes in the hamper.
Twin B: (singing and dancing) Witches! Goblins! Witches! Goblins! Are all real because it’s HALLOWEEN!
Twin A: (looking out the window) Here comes a real goblin, Mom. I’m serious.
Twin B: Boo! Boo! The scary goblin is coming for you!
Twin A: (screaming)
Me: You’re not helping, B.
Twin A: I hate witches and goblins. Can I have another Kit Kat?
Twin B: Can I have another Kit Kat?

At least they can agree on something they both like.

quote of the day

"I didn't kiss anybody at school today because I didn't want to give them my germs."
Twin B.

Um. Right. Unlke LAST week...

a dream come true

The kids and I spent the better part of the morning wandering around the neighborhood, going to various garage sales. We now own two more big trucks that make lots of noise, and two more stuffed animals to keep the three thousand stuffed animals we already own company.

When we got home, there was a box waiting for us at our door. “What is that box?” Twin B. asked.
Glancing at the front of it, I evaded the question. “Let’s get these new trucks inside and check the batteries!”
It can’t be. No. Who would send that to us? I do mental gymnastics as I get down the battery box. It must be someone who reads my blog. Craver? Does Craver have my address?
“Mom? What about that box?” Twin B. asked again.
Finally, I go out and get the box. It’s inevitable at this point. And when they see the front, the noisy boys exclaim in unison: “AN ANT FARM!”
Twin B. talks a mile a minute as we bring the box inside. “It’s an ant farm, my very own ant farm just like on Max and Ruby! Oh, this is so exciting. A. – look – it’s our very own ANT FARM! This is the happiest day of MY LIFE. It’s a DREAM COME TRUE!”

We’re just a tad bit excited.

Our dear friend, LB, is so very generous. How will we ever repay her?

Quote of the morning

Me: Hey, A.! Do you like my new outfit?
Twin A: Yeah. What is it?
Me: It's called a skirt. (Can you tell I don't wear many of these?)
Twin A: Oh. I thought it was that thing you tried on and almost had to call 9-1-1 to get it off.
Me: The tube top?
Twin A: Yeah. The tube top. What is a tube top anyway?

When you don't think they're listening, little ears are everywhere.

growing up

Getting ready for church this morning, I heard whispering in the noisy boys’ room.
“Tell her,” Twin A whispers to his brother, “come on!”
Twin B shakes his head, “YOU tell her,” he replies.
“Tell me what?” I interrupt, thinking there must be a terrible mess somewhere in the house.
Twin A looks down, “Well…” he begins.
“Go ahead,” I reassure him, “it’s always better to tell the truth. Always.”
“Okay,” Twin A continues, “we were just wondering, how come you treat us like babies all of the time?”
“What do you mean? How do I treat you like babies?”
“You know,” Twin B chimes in, “always buying us BABY underwear with BABY stuff on it.”
“Ah. So you guys just want plain underwear now, huh?”
“Yeah,” they both respond, visibly relieved to have broken the news to me.

How long did it take them to work up the courage to tell me this, as if I would be gravely disappointed that they no longer want to wear Bob the Builder underpants?

Oh, and after reading my “Survivor” post last week, a friend from church loaned me some extra sleepers for baby B. My husband’s comment? “This blog of yours is really paying off. Maybe you could mention something on there about how much I like the new Honda Odysseys that are coming out?”

Sure, honey. Consider it done. ;-)

President's Day

A bedtime conversation I wish I hadn’t started:

Me: Sweet dreams, boys. You can sleep as late as you want tomorrow because there’s no preschool!
Twin A: No school? Why?
Me: Because it’s President’s Day.
Twin B: What’s President’s Day?
Me: It’s a holiday.
Twin A: You mean like Christmas?
Me: No. Not like Christmas. You won’t get any presents.
Twin A: What’s a president anyway?
Me: The president is the person who runs our country—America.
Twin B: Do we live in the State of America?
Me; It’s not a state it’s a country.
Twin A: Oh. So we live in Illinois and the President lives in America!
Twin B: Will the president get any presents?
Me: Let’s talk about this tomorrow. Goodnight boys.

Today’s breakfast conversation: (A favorite today—yummy french toast with strawberries and bananas.)

Twin A: So, what’s the deal today?
Me: Well, there’s no preschool because of President’s Day.
Twin A: That’s right. Now, what IS President’s Day anyway?
Me: Basically, there’s no school and no mail. I have no idea what we’re supposed to actually celebrate on President’s Day.
Twin B: No mail? Why don’t we get any mail?
Me: Because it’s a holiday and the postal workers have the day off.
Twin B: Oh. Because it’s President’s Day. But we don’t celebrate it because we live in Illinois, right?

I give up.