Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Not again!

“How was school today, B?” I asked.

“Good.”

“What was your special thing?”

“Learning Stations.”

“How fun! Who were the helping Moms?”

He rattled off two names then shrugged his shoulders. “But there was one Mom who didn’t show up.”

You know that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach? I had that. And then I found my volunteer schedule, and sure enough: It was me.

This happened a few weeks ago, and actually it turned into a really good teaching moment with my boys. “Nobody’s perfect,” I told them, “not even me. We all need grace.” Twin A. especially was struck by this not being perfect concept. He tries really, really hard and he really wants that to be good enough. It’s hard to accept grace when it means acknowledging your own failings.

So I chalked the whole thing up to another Kindergarten Mom Moment, apologized to the teacher, combed through my calendar and regrouped my organizational efforts, and moved on.

Until Monday.

It happened again, people.

And once again, the teacher extended sweet mercy to this tired Mom. She was so kind, I cried on my way home from school. And when I think of all the times it’s me on the other end of inconvenience, I’m ashamed. Because while I talk a lot about grace and forgiveness, the truth is, I expect people to tow the line. I tend to be critical, not gracious, when I’m on the other end of inconvenience.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)

19 comments:

TJ Wilson said...

LM - I've not even met you personally, but you must know that grace oozes from your posts. I appreciate your blog, always look forward to your writing, because it's heartfelt and honest. And refreshing. And grace-filled. And see - you're simply continuing to teach your kids (& their teacher) the value of extending grace. :) Ugh.
Your heart shows through the successes of motherhood as well as the failures!

L.L. Barkat said...

Nothing like receiving grace to sober us up regarding our own responses, yes? I loved this little piece. I could just feel it.

addhumorandfaith said...

Such a good example you're setting. Not by forgetting, of course, but by how you handled the aftermath. Good mommy.

Marmot Mom said...

Pain, pain, I feel your pain! You did a fantastic job handling this and modeling for your little ones. Thanks for the reminder that grace received should be grace extended. I need that reminder every day.

Halfmom, AKA, Susan said...

me too - it reminded me to let go of a particular irritation this early morning and extend some grace - so thanks.

a blessed and joyfilled Easter to you!

Halfmom, AKA, Susan said...

oops - "me too" meant that I think grace is quit commonly found in your posts!

Llama Momma said...

TJ -- thank you for your kind words! You made my day.

LL -- Receiving grace can be as hard as giving it, I've found. And both -- giving and receiving-- change us.

add humor -- Good mommy? Me? Aw, shucks. It sure doesn't feel that way sometimes...

Marmot Mom -- thank you. Nobody said parenthood would be easy...so why do I expect it to be?

halfmom -- I'm so glad you find grace here. And happy easter to you too!

MamaToo said...

This is such a timely reminder, considering the holiday upon us, that grace isn't really grace until it is received. Thank you, again, for sharing the honesty of your life.

Jenn said...

Oh man. I totally heard that! And I'm not even a mom . . .

chrissy said...

Ooops, slips on that one! With everything going on, I am surprised you can remember to breath! Wow, hang in there! Great job with handling it though, I am impressed, Good job mama!

Llama Momma said...

thank you, Mamatoo.

Jenn -- motherhood isn't SUCH a foreign land. It just presents many, many more opportunities to screw things up!! ;-)

Chrissy -- You know, I don't feel like I have THAT much going on. I keep life and our schedule fairly simple...but still manage to miss stuff...

NaNcY said...

have a wonderful easter day

much afraid said...

Llama Momma, I've read a few of your responses on marmotmail's blog; she's a friend from when she lived in CA. I've always enjoyed reading your posts. It suddenly dawned on me tonight that I could come over and read your blog! Duh! I am so smart! I think that's a by-product of sixteen years of mothering, but I can't really remember.

Anyway, I so identify with your story, and I was completely convicted by the scripture from 1 Peter. I have failed so much lately in loving my son, who presents special difficulties because of a disability. Thank you for your transparency and humility.

Llama Momma said...

much afraid -- thanks for stopping by! I was also friends with marmot mom in CA. I wonder if we've met?

Of course, back then I didn't have any kids and was newly married to the Llama Papa. Back then, I'm not sure I would have recognized myself now. :-)

The Oho Report said...

Your honesty is refreshing. I could picture your guilt and resolve in my minds-eye

Marmot Mom said...

It blessed me to read this. OF COURSE Llama Momma knows Much Afraid....just follow the clues in the posts...(ooh, this is very fun.)

Llama Momma said...

marmot mom -- oooh. I love a good mystery!! Hmmmmm.....

Llama Momma said...

Oho -- thanks for stopping by!

Tim & Richelle said...

Ouch! Thanks for stepping on my toes today - I needed your timely word of ...encouragement?