Friday, February 19, 2010


I never thought I'd be one of them. One of those cocky midwesterners with their coat unzipped in the freezing cold, declaring, "What a beautiful day!"

But that's exactly what I did in the school pick-up line this afternoon.

After some truly cold weather, today was a balmy 40 degrees and sunny. Truly, it felt like a taste of spring.

And so it is. I am one of them. So hardened by the cold and the snow that 40 feels like a heat wave. I never thought I'd see the day.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

asking for help

I read somewhere that women would rather choke to death (literally) than call attention to themselves. I believe it.

Recently, a friend (who will remain nameless*) was up all night in pain. She didn't call a friend to drive her to the ER because she didn't want to bother anyone. She waited until morning to send an email asking for help. She didn't want anyone to be alarmed by a late-night or early morning phone call even though it was, um, an emergency.

I gave her a terrible time the next day, and I'm hopeful that next time, she will call when she has an emergency. I like to think I would, but who am I kidding? I hate to put people out too. (Maybe that's why we're friends?)

I know I'm not alone in this.

We all know a "needy Nelly" who is constantly bombarding us with requests for a favor, and we don't want to be like her. So we suffer along, hoping things will get better or someone will just magically know what we need without our asking. And along the way, we rob the people closest to us from the opportunity to serve because we never let on that things aren't just fine thankyouverymuch.

So, ladies, how about a New Year's resolution to ask for help from a friend when we need it? I'm not talking about a generic facebook plea, I'm talking about reaching out to a real, live friend and asking specifically for what we need. Something like:

-- I'm scared to go for my mammogram because last time they found something fuzzy and I never followed up. Will you go with me?

--I'm depressed. Will you pray for me?

-- Can we get together for coffee soon? I really need to talk to a friend.

-- Can I drop my kids off this weekend for a few hours? My husband and I need to get out alone.

You get the idea. And next time you think you might need to go to the ER and your husband is out of town? Call a friend. They'll be glad to help.

* Details have been changed to protect privacy. My friend will be fine.