Monday, May 10, 2010

the guilt

As moms, we all have it. We feel guilty if we work too much; we feel guilty if we don’t work. We feel guilty if we drag our kids out to run errands; we feel guilty if we leave them home and run errands by ourselves. We feel guilty if we’re overweight and out of shape; we feel guilty if we take time for ourselves to exercise.

We just plain feel guilty.

I was sitting with a group of women last week, and the subject of guilt came up. Everyone chimed in, and a mom with grown kids even suggested that this guilt was a good thing. After all, maybe a “good mom” does feel guilty if she takes time for herself, even if it is at the grocery store buying food for her family.

To which I say, in a nice Christian way, of course, BULL.

I just don’t think we need to buy this, ladies.

Whatever your situation in life—working, not working, whatever—do your kids a favor and get over the guilt. And if you leave the kids with a neighbor or sitter or their (GASP) Dad for a few hours to get out alone? Celebrate those moments and come home refreshed. That will do your family a lot more good than the guilt does.

It takes some practice, but let me tell you, life on the other side of guilt** is really nice. It still comes calling once in awhile, but I find that a hunk of dark chocolate shuts it right up.

** I feel like I need to add a disclaimer that I’m not suggesting moms become uber selfish and shirk their responsibilities to their households. Not at all. But, come on. I know moms who work forty hours a week, stay up until midnight baking twelve dozen cookies for the church bake sale, and feel guilty on a Saturday afternoon for sneaking off for a pedicure or, heaven forbid, lying down and taking a nap. That’s what I’m talking about.**

7 comments:

Sues said...

AMEN!!! It took me ages to let go of my SAHM guilt that I wasn't working, and now that I finally have? Awesome!!! I do NOT spend nap- or other free time cleaning or doing chores; I spend it online, b/c connecting with my friends is what makes me happy. :-) And I won't apologize for it, either, (...*anymore*!)

megs @ whadusay said...

Amen!

Marmot Mom said...

At the risk of sounding bold: in my life, I have found that true conviction is from God and true guilt is from Someone Else.'Nuff said.

ChosenRebel said...

Moms are heroes. Guilt comes from undervaluing them.

Llama Momma said...

And I think many times, we--THE MOMS--are the ones who undervalue ourselves...

ChosenRebel said...

Exactly my point.

calaptin said...

It’s a rare thing to find someone as generous and kind as you. Thank you.
Thank you for supporting my dreams, no matter what. I couldn’t ask for a better partner.