Monday, May 10, 2010

the guilt

As moms, we all have it. We feel guilty if we work too much; we feel guilty if we don’t work. We feel guilty if we drag our kids out to run errands; we feel guilty if we leave them home and run errands by ourselves. We feel guilty if we’re overweight and out of shape; we feel guilty if we take time for ourselves to exercise.

We just plain feel guilty.

I was sitting with a group of women last week, and the subject of guilt came up. Everyone chimed in, and a mom with grown kids even suggested that this guilt was a good thing. After all, maybe a “good mom” does feel guilty if she takes time for herself, even if it is at the grocery store buying food for her family.

To which I say, in a nice Christian way, of course, BULL.

I just don’t think we need to buy this, ladies.

Whatever your situation in life—working, not working, whatever—do your kids a favor and get over the guilt. And if you leave the kids with a neighbor or sitter or their (GASP) Dad for a few hours to get out alone? Celebrate those moments and come home refreshed. That will do your family a lot more good than the guilt does.

It takes some practice, but let me tell you, life on the other side of guilt** is really nice. It still comes calling once in awhile, but I find that a hunk of dark chocolate shuts it right up.

** I feel like I need to add a disclaimer that I’m not suggesting moms become uber selfish and shirk their responsibilities to their households. Not at all. But, come on. I know moms who work forty hours a week, stay up until midnight baking twelve dozen cookies for the church bake sale, and feel guilty on a Saturday afternoon for sneaking off for a pedicure or, heaven forbid, lying down and taking a nap. That’s what I’m talking about.**

7 comments:

Sues said...

AMEN!!! It took me ages to let go of my SAHM guilt that I wasn't working, and now that I finally have? Awesome!!! I do NOT spend nap- or other free time cleaning or doing chores; I spend it online, b/c connecting with my friends is what makes me happy. :-) And I won't apologize for it, either, (...*anymore*!)

megs @ whadusay said...

Amen!

Marmot Mom said...

At the risk of sounding bold: in my life, I have found that true conviction is from God and true guilt is from Someone Else.'Nuff said.

gaishoen said...

IS VERY GOOD..............................

ChosenRebel said...

Moms are heroes. Guilt comes from undervaluing them.

Llama Momma said...

And I think many times, we--THE MOMS--are the ones who undervalue ourselves...

ChosenRebel said...

Exactly my point.