Friday, December 14, 2007

chocolate and rusty nails

Advent. That’s what I was planning to write about today. A specific memory of the Christmas I was on bedrest with the twins and the deep, abiding peace of Christ.

But, friends, today has not been a deep, abiding peace of Christ kind of day. Not even close.

I woke up in a panic at 4:45 this morning, obsessed with getting the boys’ birthday invitations in the mail. The dishwasher was next, and then wrapping. And then my people were awake.

The morning hit a major snag when I started to wrap a gift and realized the security tag was still on it. I cursed Kohls all the way to the store and vowed to never shop there again no matter how cheap things were. But the woman apologized, a real “I’m-so-sorry-you-had-to-drag-that-baby-out-in-the-cold apology,” and my anger vanished.

For the moment.

The anger reappeared when I stopped off at Burger King to get a refund on the kids’ meals I picked up last night on the way to the children’s museum. The kids’ meals that had no cheeseburgers or milk in them. Only fries. And when I explained the problem to the teenager behind the counter, she accused me of trying to steal cheeseburgers. Honestly, folks. I could not make this stuff up.

I called a friend this afternoon to vent about the craziness of the day, and do you know what she was doing? She was scrubbing the rust off of nails to make some kind of Christmas ornament. She had tried soaking the nails all week on her kitchen counter in an effort to make them rusty, but the darn things wouldn’t rust. So she soaked them in toilet bowl cleaner. It worked, but the rust was orange instead of black. So here it was, one-thirty on Friday afternoon and she was scrubbing away on orange, rusty nails. Of course.

Because we all know Christmas is not about the abiding joy and peace of Christ. It’s about shopping and baking and cards and scrubbing freaking orange rust off of nails to make ornaments.

Oh, and I almost forgot the best part of the day. This afternoon I made myself a cup of tea and got out my latest grocery store find: 100 calorie triple fudge brownies. Doesn’t that sound great? A nice, 2-point treat to go with my tea. Desperate for chocolate, I open the package up and pull out a small, wrapped bit of brownie smaller than my thumb.

That is just wrong.


Anonymous said...

Priceless, my friend. Priceless.


Frazzmom said...

I feel your pain, it's been a similar week here... I keep fantasizing about running away from home- it doesn't matter where, as long as there are no children!

Anonymous said...

Did you use some of that self-defense empowerment on the Burger King employee?

Llama Momma said...

Thank you, my friend. (:-)

frazzmom -- Let's run away together!! Where can we meet??

SP -- No. I looked her in the eye and said, "why on earth would I come back here for a couple of free cheeseburgers? In the snow? With a baby?"

The issue was that she didn't want to give me a refund, which is what I wanted. She wanted to give me actual cheeseburgers, which I didn't want. (At 10 o'clock in the morning...)

It was just a matter of principle, ya know??

Anonymous said...

I think you deserve a REAL brownie at this point.

Craver Vii said...

Dark chocolate. You can have small portions of dark chocolate and still be satisfied. Just let it melt and slowly allow each taste bud to have quality time with the magical treat.

Rusty nails? I think I know who that was.

Llama Momma said...

Craver -- Yup. That's her. :-)

and thanks for stopping by, sarcastic mom!

MamaToo said...

This might be a bit long, but I thought it might encourage you as you reflect on a tough, complicated day in this world...
God promised: "A green Shoot will sprout from Jesse's stump, from his roots a budding Branch.
The life-giving Spirit of God will hover over him, the Spirit that brings wisdom and understanding,
The Spirit that gives direction and builds strength,
the Spirit that instills knowledge and Fear-of-God.
Fear-of-God will be all his joy and delight.
He won't judge by appearances, won't decide on the basis of hearsay.
He'll judge the needy by what is right, render decisions on earth's poor with justice.
His words will bring everyone to awed attention.
A mere breath from his lips will topple the wicked.
Each morning he'll pull on sturdy work clothes and boots, and build righteousness and faithfulness in the land." (Isaiah 11:1-5)

Rejoice, He has come.

Sharon said...

Hello! Those 2-point treats are always a bit dissapointing, size wise!

These young cashiers have no idea what the world is like. I went to the drug store recently to use the photo kiosk. I had a 5X7 printed along with the regular pictures. The girl behind the counter put it into an emvalope that was way too small, bending it up in the process. I pulled it right back out, handed it to her, and said that I wnated a refund on it since it was all bent up. I swear to you she said with a straight face "We don't refund digital pictures."

I enjoyed reading your blog. :)

Linda said...

I am loving your writing. And now, we did nothing to make that ham into a pig, except for adding the cherry after we saw that it was indeed a pig.