Wednesday, August 29, 2007

then and now

I walk briskly, pushing the double stroller, hoping to burn off the half-a-package of Oreos I ate instead of dinner. The sugar gives me quick energy, but ultimately lets me down. At least the babies have stopped screaming. From five to seven, nobody’s happy. I walk by the neighborhood school and try to imagine my babies as boys, going to school. Five more years. In five years, I think, I will have a life. I’ll spend more time on my writing, organize my closet, and clean out the garage. I’ll stop eating Oreos for dinner and get more exercise. I’ll have lunch with friends. Surely in five years I’ll have a friend? In five years, I’ll have time for me. It will be my turn.

I navigate baby b.’s stroller down the sidewalk and chat with the noisy boys as we walk to school. “Is today gym?” Twin B. asks.
Twin A. answers authoritatively, “No. Today is ORANGE day. I think it might be music.”
“Actually,” I respond, “it’s yellow day. And you guys have gym on different days. Honestly, I don’t know if it’s gym today or not, B. But you’re wearing your gym shoes, so you’ll be ready either way!” The noisy boys get a kick out of the color system our school uses to keep track of “special” days like gym and art. Or maybe they’re just amused that I cannot for the life of me figure the system out. Either way, it’s a common topic of conversation.

I offer quick hugs as they run to join their classmates and walk briskly home. I put baby b. down for his nap and look around. Three baskets of laundry need folding, the lunch dishes need to be put in the dishwasher, I have four phone calls to return, the kitchen floor crunches, and the family room looks like a bomb went off. I fold laundry while I return phone calls, do the dishes, sweep, and defrost chicken for our dinner tonight. I think about an article I want to write while I snap green beans. Maybe tomorrow, I think, as I get baby b. up for the walk back to school, glancing at the still-messy family room. Maybe tomorrow.


spaghettipie said...

I love your honest reflection. It's neat to look back 5 years ago, though. At least you've graduated from Oreos to chicken. . .

MamaToo said...

What a sweet, honest reflection from a great momma. I may have missed it in an earlier - do you feel like you have friends now?

Anonymous said...

I noticed you stopped by today, thanks for the comment! "I love comments!" :)
I read just a taste of your blog today, and I wanted to say I LOVED this... "I want to raise children who love Jesus and are ready to fly."
That is one for the books.

Llama Momma said...

SP -- Yes! I have graduated. Every once in awhile I still make the sugar-binge mistake, thinking it will perk me up. It doesn't. It makes my exhaustion worse.

mamatoo -- I do feel like I have friends now. Thank you for asking! The first year of the twins' lives was the loneliest of my life. We moved across the country and I was home with these little, screaming babies. I wouldn't go back for a million dollars. Maybe two million...

jennifer -- thanks for stopping by! I love the "works for me wednesday" thing. Maybe one of these weeks I'll actually post one myself. :-)

Marmot Mom said...

There are some great lessons in your post. The lives of your little ones will start to move very quickly now. Once they hit Kindergarten it's like one of those cartoon snowballs where it keeps rolling downhill faster and faster, picking up snow.
Dishes? Dinner? Laundry? Those will always be with us.
A clean house is the sign of a misspent life. It's great to see you spending time on the things that really matter:))

Llama Momma said...

Marmot mom -- Great insight! I agree...a clean house is highly overrated!