It’s been a long week already, and it’s only Monday. My husband left early yesterday morning for a conference in Las Vegas, and I’ve been wallowing in self-pity ever since. Actually, the self-pity started on Saturday, but who’s keeping track?
I’m used to my husband being on-the-road. I’m a veteran of this lifestyle, and even see many positives to it. I’ve even started writing a book on how to maintain close family relationships when you’re frequently apart, but I keep putting it down again, convinced it’s impossible to do. Not the book writing, but the relationships.
I’ve got lots of good survival strategies. I know when to get out of the house and when to stay home. I don’t put my life on hold when my husband is gone. I’ve got people I can call when I need a break from the kids. I’ve got people I should call to get my mind off myself. But you know what? It all feels empty today. I’m not content. That’s the real problem—my own discontented spirit.
Do I trust that God is big enough today? Can I hand over my restlessness and trust that He knows what He’s doing with my life, right here, right now?
“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?...
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” (Psalm 42:1-2, 5-6)