the truth

I went on this retreat of silence in search of God. And in the silence, as distractions and noise began to fall away, I was left with myself. And God. And what is real and true between us. Not what I want to be real and true, but what actually is.

Here are my reflections from day two:

The day is slipping away; my mind wanders. Have I been attentive enough? I want measurable results. I want to come away from this week and say, “God did this,” or “God said this.” I want to sit for five minutes or five hours or five days and have something to show for it.

But the truth is, I’m coming up empty. The truth is, I’m exhausted. The truth is, I’m distracted. The truth is, I don’t even know what my soul feels like. The truth is, I’m afraid I won’t even recognize God’s voice if He does speak.