Saturday, February 2, 2008

beginning

I’m not exactly sure why I’m here. A simple note to the author, a question really, resulted in this invitation to spend five days in solitude and silence, meeting with Ruth in the mornings for prayer, devotions, and spiritual direction.

I don’t know how many people have been invited, but only two of us are here––me and a young worship leader from San Francisco.

I feel intimidated. Who am I to be here, sitting across from this woman, whose books have challenged the very soul of my being? Why should she invest this time in me?

It’s surreal. She shares a devotion with us and I wonder that she shouldn’t be standing in front of thousands, sharing these great insights into scripture.

I wonder again, what am I doing here?

I’m surprised by how quickly the ego fades in this setting, how deeply we connect, soul to soul, in spiritual friendship.

She’s no longer a famous author and speaker. She’s simply Ruth.

“It’s no coincidence that you’re here,” she smiles.

This truth resonates with me, and I know that for whatever reason, God has brought me here.

And so I begin my journey.

12 comments:

elaine@bloginmyeye said...

Oooh, chills. Still ready for more! ;)

A Musing Mom said...

“It’s no coincidence that you’re here,” - aah! A phrase that reveals the "ordinary" to be sacred. How rarely we recognize it, but how blessed when we do! I'm glad for you to have had that time and can't wait to hear more.

NaNcY said...

i hope you do not mind but i have a link to share with you and want to share your link there as well on his comment forum.

http://communityofjesus.blogspot.com/2008/02/silence.html

also i want to apologize to you, on my part, because it seems the time that we had on your blog while you were gone was not a pleasant thing to arrive to. i thought it would be fun and funny...yet i am learning that it is hard to convey the timing of humor on blogs.

God bless your day.
i am looking forward to more of your reflections on your time away.

Don Mills Diva said...

You sound so at peace - I look forward to hearing more.

Llama Momma said...

Nancy -- no worries on the blogjacking! Really.

When I saw all of the -- ahem -- activity, I felt very loved. (Though I'll admit I haven't read all one hundred and ten comments yet!)

spaghettipie said...

Thanks for trying to share with us what you learned on your retreat. I anxiously await more, and only wish I could meet you for coffee to hear it directly from you. I can only imagine how difficult it is to distill all of what you learned into mere words and blog postings, but I appreciate all that you are able to share.

And I do think blog-jacking=sign of affection, although I'm not sure I'll be telling you guys the next time I'm going to be gone . . . :)

Craver Vii said...

I'm glad your time was well spent. It's got to be good to be back with your family.

Did you happen to see a left shoe anywhere? No? ...Probably the goat.

Right now, some of us could probably use a little silence and solitude. Blessings. :-)

Ted M. Gossard said...

Yes, really connecting is what it's all about, with God and each other. So lacking in so much of what we practice.

Llama Momma said...

Craver -- I do have some extra shoes lying around, now that you mention it. I've got extra socks, too. A big pile of them with no matches.

SP -- I'll certainly share. I just hope I make sense. You know how things seem really profound and meaningful to you and everyone around you kind of has this look on their face like, "Duh!"?

I'm afraid a lot of what I say might be a little of that. So basic, and yet new to me. :-)

Ted -- One of the surprises to me about this whole solitude experience is how much it draws me into community. True community. When we bring our loneliness and neediness to Jesus and allow Him to fill us, we have something genuine to offer the people in our lives, instead of constantly looking to them (or to things) to fill us up.

Marmot Mom said...

It's hard to translate to others what God has so specifically tailored to you. I am s-o-o-o happy and grateful for your time! Share what you can and savor the rest. I too wish I could share a cup of coffee with you :)

MamaToo said...

you sound... changed. Perhaps in small ways, and perhaps in ways deeper than you knew your Father would reach. I look forward to the updates, and welcome back your perspective.

Llama Momma said...

mamatoo -- I am changed. In a deep way. In a good way. You are very perceptive! :-)