Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Mom's night out

Last night I went out with a group of dear friends from our twin’s playgroup. I was struck by how this group of women has evolved, and how much it means to me at this stage in my life.

When the noisy boys were babies and we were new to Illinois, my husband took on his current job that involves a heavy travel schedule. This was hard. Unbelievably hard. I remember standing in the shower one morning, sobbing, and praying for just one friend who would really understand what I was going through. Just one.

That day, for no real reason, I packed up my two babies and went to a craft store I had never been to before. While there, I ran into another woman pushing a double stroller with twin boys the exact age as mine. We started comparing stories, and realized our lives overlapped in an uncanny way. At this point we were still smiling politely, and yet both of us were desperate too—for a friend who really got it. We exchanged phone numbers that day and began getting together the next week. We became fast friends, and gave each other courage and strength and understanding to get through the long days of mothering little ones. The four boys are best friends. (And in another uncanny coincidence, we each had a third son within months of each other!)

My friend, Ang, started a playgroup through our twin’s club a few months later. I still remember that first meeting with all of the babies crawling and toddling around and yelling. The Moms didn’t talk much during those early meetings, but just to be in the presence of other adults brought sanity. As the kids got older, we were giddy as we sat around the table, drinking coffee. “Look at us! Drinking coffee!” We would exclaim. We had arrived.

And last night, we all swapped stories of our babies, who are going to school now and crossing the Daisy bridge and reading real books, and I thanked God again for this gift of friends who understand.


spaghettipie said...

Mom's groups are powerful things. There is something about being able to connect with other women who are going through the same experiences that you are and realizing you really are not alone.

MamaToo said...

I used to lead a new parents' group, and I've witnessed your story in my own experiences as well as the many parents of groups I facilitated. Thanks for reminding me of the gift that type of experience can be!
We were designed for community and relationship. I guess parenthood will shake the most individualists among us. When I first left corporate life to stay home with my boys, I had to "deprogram" myself and realize that time with others (even without an agenda, lesson, or organized topic) was valuable. Those friendships made in early motherhood are blessed gifts!

Llama Momma said...

Thank you, ladies, for adding your thoughts! This moms group has been invaluable at each stage. In the beginning, we talked about tandem feeding and how to go grocery shopping. Now, we're on to seperation issues and holding one twin back, etc. The group is STILL invaluable, but for different reasons!

And we don't even meet anymore! (The kids are all in school...)