I have a confession to make: I’m directionally challenged. In a big way.
If someone tells me to go north on such and such a street, I have no clue what they’re asking me to do. “So, left at the KFC or right?” I need to clarify, confessing my utter lack of orientation most of the time. Maps are of little help, as I often can’t find myself on them or figure out which way to travel once I’ve found myself.
People are usually surprised to know this about me. Or at least, they pretend to be surprised, which is a kindness, I suppose.
At Calvin, L.L. Barkat climbed into my mini-van, despite my warnings that I have issues in this area. She is a kind, brave soul. Having dinner with her was a highlight of the festival—she is every bit as energetic and articulate in person as she is on her blog. And, as I mentioned before, brave. She kindly describes our adventure in her post Looking for Lil. Which reminds me, I need to look up the meaning of the word “lichen.” (See? I told you she was articulate!)
I attended the festival with a poet friend, and as we drove through Indiana on our way home, well, home for me, to the airport for my friend, my driving challenges took a new twist in the form of the tollway.
I should back up here and say that I live in Illinois. I am only too familiar with the tollway. As an I-Pass user, I don’t think about it often, but the reality of tolls is always with me, hanging on my windshield.
So as I approached the toll in Indiana, I noticed the sign for I-Zoom or I-Pass. I chose that lane, noting the speed limit of 5 mph. In Illinois, the speed limit is usually 20 mph, and you just zip right through the lane.
But apparently in Indiana, they expect you to stop. Like, completely.
Too bad I didn’t.
And now I fear that my poet friend may need some kind of therapy to recover from our sweet fellowship.
You know those little bars that block some toll lanes, lifting after you pay the toll? They’re quite resilient. Should you hit them, they just spring right back into place.
Not that I would know anything about that.
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18 comments:
Oh my- I'm sorry to admit that I was cracking up while reading about your 'adventure'! OK- well not too sorry or I wouldn't be admitting it...
I have to say that one of the things I love about my car is the compass direction in the mirror. It just came with the car, I would have never paid for it- but I love it and use it all the time! Oh and Tom Tom is your friend!
And I think a lichen is a type of moss- but now I need to go look that up too!
:-)
From L.L. Barkat's blog... "I see she is an honest soul"...
Ha Ha!
(Sorry- laughing at your expense again! Really I am a terrible friend!)
Frazzmom -- No need to apologize for your laughter, my friend. After all, this post is marked "humor." I'm laughing too. At myself. :-)
Delightful! I love the fun and memory-building. Nothing like a close call to solidify a friendship!
Keep it coming!
Ann
Okay, I really did laugh out loud here. And laugh, and laugh. I can picture your resilient little self just going on through. Poor Rosalie though. You really ought to go a little gentler on her.
Ann -- good point on the solidifying friendship thing. I'll have to send my friend an email and tell her this was actually a GOOD thing...ha...
LL -- I'm always glad to provide laughter...and, yes, poor Rosalie! :-)
I love this, and what a relief to hear from another DCA-member (directionally challenged anonymous)...
My (then 2 1/2 year old) son used to recognize a u-turn and reassure me from his car seat, "it's okay, Mama. We'll find it." Living in a place with mostly cloudy days (rendering old fashioned "look at the sun" directions useless) doesn't help. :)
LM-too, too funny. And so you.
So is Llama Poppa seriously considering a GPS for your van? That might be cheaper than fender repairs.
Btw, your grace and good humor make being directionally-challenged an endearing quality.
Mamatoo -- Yes, the children of us DTC folks learn early. Every once in awhile when we get in the van, my very careful Twin A. will ask, "Do you know where we're going?" He's not being disrespectful...just cautious. Poor child.
AMM -- I've dropped hints about the TOM TOM. Like, "Wow. Wouldn't that make a great birthday gift for me on MAY 21? ;-)
Get the Tom Tom, don't delay!!
(:-)
...although the Tom Tom won't help with the toll gate! You still have to stop at those.
Okay, the comments have been just as funny as the post!
Anon -- Good point on the Tom Tom not helping with the tolls. I think from now on I should just avoid Indiana...
SP -- I love it!
you may have trouble with maps
but with this story you are right on target. it feels good to laugh...thanks.
Oh, please don't avoid Indiana! We Hoosiers love Llama Momma! Just go easy on our toll booths!
Now I am wondering how we ever found each other at Starbucks a few weeks ago. Apparently I gave good directions!
Still enjoying Guerrillas of Grace!
Charity -- Ha!! Luckily, it was a really straight shot at the hotel!
I'm glad you like the book. It's one of my all time favorites. :-)
I tried to send you an e-mail twice but it keeps bouncing back to me .....
I am also directionally challenged. I now have GPS in my car and I hope to never have to do without it again. I use it even in town.
Love the story about the toll booth. Nice to know that those arms snap back. Just in case.
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